watashi wa honto kanashii desu.
saw someone who should be regarded as a taboo
to me because whenever I see him,
my heart feels as though someone had just twisted
it all left and right.
he boarded the train at Clementi,
in the same damn cabin as me some more.
I stood shocked with fear because I really really
did not want to admit that he is still the one
whom I've met the most, coincidentally, after graduation.
when his back was facing me, the only thought
going through my mind was "can it really be him?"
then, I realised that no matter how much he've changed,
his is one fucking face I'd never ever forget in my entire life.
my heart was pounding with fear, worried that he would see me
because I really really do not want him to see me in this state,
with sucha fucked face and hair.
was praying really hard that he will not get down at Outram
but then again, I think my heart was pinning for it.
he really got down at Outram.
I seriously think I have fate with the wrong people.
the last time I saw him was in Bugis, when I went to
check out the cruise / overseas thingy with Meiling.
I tried really hard to control my eyes, to not let them travel
to him, to where he stood but they decided to ignore me.
I seriously stared at him from Clementi to Outram,
only turning away occasionally when he looks up into his surroundings.
I don't know why I stared at him. perhaps it's because I wouldn't know
whens the next time I'll be seeing him again.
my mind wished that I will never see him again but as you know,
I think it's harder to control the feelings of the heart.
I really hate it when I see him as my emotions get all tangled up.
before I end off with anything related to him,
please let me reiterate that I DO NOT have anymore feelings for him.
JA.
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